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As we all know Youth Day commemorates the 1976 Soweto youth uprising. Young people that work hard to be independent of the oppressive Bantu Education and unequal education. While we honour and commemorate the youth of 1976 that contributed to the struggle for the liberation of South Africa, introspectively, what does that liberation and independence mean for the youth of 2022? How do we pursue opportunities and a livelihood that takes advantage of independence?

As a result of our freedom and opportunities, our goals and thought process do not have to be dependent on others, there are some ways to become more self-reliant. While it may be easy to depend on others for their opinions and help, it can become unhealthy if it causes you to lose sight of your individuality and being self-motivated. However, it’s important to note that it’s never a bad idea to ask for help as long as we’re not solely dependent on friends and family.

 Being a self-reliant young person can be scary but it’s completely worth it. According to Positive Psychology, the following three terms encapsulate what it means to be self-reliant:

1. Thinking independently
2. Embracing your individuality
3. Striving towards your own goals, bravely

Why is it important to become self-reliant?

• You can solve problems and make decisions by yourself
• Being self-reliant forces you to become more informed because you learn not to make others a first resort
• This involves self-acceptance, a very powerful thing to acquire
• It gives you a sense of direction

Here are some tips on how to become more independent and self-reliant

1. Work on your self-esteem

Oftentimes, the biggest deterrent to trusting ourselves and always feeling the need to have others validate our every decision is lacking confidence. Now you’ll find that a fraction of people are just naturally confident, while most of us, if not all of us have to put in the work at being confident, which is completely okay. You can empower yourself by increasing your self-esteem.

2. Assume Responsibility

Let’s be honest, taking responsibility for your life is not fun. But taking responsibility for your life is satisfying. You’ll gain quiet confidence in yourself as you take control of your own life. You’ll feel empowered. Instead of feeling like life is simply happening to you, you’ll begin to feel like the captain of your destiny and master of your soul.

3. Making your own decisions

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” -Theodore Roosevelt. From childhood, we learn to always look for guidance before making decisions that some of us never really relinquish being coddled even in adulthood. Have confidence in your capabilities and it becomes a lot easier to find security within.

4. Know the difference between asking for guidance and asking for permission

This requires you to trust yourself. Being emotionally confident means, you know the decisions to make and you trust yourself that you’re making the right decision. Because sometimes when you ask others for permission, you could already be seeking the answer that you hope they will give.

5. Practice assertiveness

Assertiveness is an expression that your opinion and stance hold the same weight as those of other people. Maintaining your stance, even if it might not be the most popular one, is a good sign of emotional independence.

6. Define and have your own values

Society’s values may not be aligned with our own deep-rooted beliefs. If society values one thing, and it’s not congruent with our own, we can sometimes cheat our values to fit in. 

Jump for joy, dance up a frenzy, tap yourself on the back – you deserve it!

In order to keep your spirits rejuvenated for the long haul, it’s important to take time out and stay away from the grind, even for a short while.

It’s even more important to reflect on the year that was. What went right, what went pear-shaped, areas of improvement, and then celebrate yourself for showing up for it all.

And the habit of paying attention to the different parts of your life means that we need to acknowledge that encouragement plays an important role in our lives. That as the emotional beings that we are, the way we feel about ourselves and our efforts has an impact on how well we perform, and ultimately, how we live.

Below are pointers on why it’s essential to place value on your daily actions, and a few ideas you can use to start acknowledging yourself more:

An opportunity to train the mind to love productivity

By giving yourself rewards every time you land a win, your mind learns to associate positive emotions (happiness, pride, confidence) with applying effort and diligence.

After a long enough time, the brain will naturally read productivity as a fun pursuit. This is also a great way to develop positive/helpful mental habits and become a valuable person all round.

Major wins are made up of smaller ones

Try this idea out: at the end of each day, write down your top five (or less) accomplishments. It doesn’t matter how big or seemingly unimportant they are. Example: waking up early enough to hit the gym, plan the day out and prepare for work without hurrying is a feat worthy to celebrate.

Especially if you have consistently struggled to get it done before.

Your reward for achieving a fluid and productive day as a result might be working from your favourite coffee spot for a full day. Or perhaps a visit to a wellness center for a body massage and wind down.

Increases your level of self-awareness

When you’re actively looking for opportunities to improve and then reward that improvement, your self-awareness can only getter sharper with time.

As you grow into the habit of celebrating even your smallest victories, you’re likely to think and reflect deeply on your daily activities and how they contribute into your life.

And when you consistently write down the details of your daily activities as suggested above, you’ll have a collection of notes that act as a personal development roadmap, filled with varied lessons — from time management to self-love.

Reward yourself to inspire better emotional health

There’s a bigger impact on you when, for example, you decide to take a weekend getaway trip as a gift for your impressive performance in your studies this year.

For one, such acts of kindness and self-care draw you closer towards yourself. As a result, you begin to nurture a tender/more considerate relationship with yourself. And conversely, when you inevitably make mistakes, you’ll be in an advantageous position to quickly pick them up, openly acknowledge them and then rectify.

This is possible when you practice self-awareness on a daily basis. When there’s a need, you take full accountability for your actions.

What begins as an exercise to focus on rewarding your personal efforts may end up helping you develop other helpful habits. Because as the saying goes: “The way you do anything is the way you do everything.”