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Around the months of December and January people, organizations, even whole populations tend to reflect on the year that has passed. We may ask ourselves “How did I get here? Have I met my goals? Have I made a difference in the world? Have I progressed? Am I happy? What’s happening next?” To be self-aware at the individual level, in a relationship or within an organization it is necessary to ask deep questions of ourselves, looking back on what has happened and also forward towards what we want to do. To pause, reflect and contemplate is part of leading an intentional life. Those who are goal- and purpose-oriented do this at regular intervals in order to measure where they are at, whether they are doing the things that complement their purpose and dreams and to take stock of their emotional, psychological and physical well-being. The key benefits of self-reflection as a long-tern practice are that it helps you to become resilient, prepares you to be innovative where opportunities arise and augments your leadership skills.

Why is reflection an important part of life

If you seek to live a life of purpose, introspection is an important habit to practice at regular intervals.  Often it is easy to identify the areas in life that we want to change, where we feel unsatisfied or frustrated, but it is also important to be mindful of where we find our happiness and feel we are achieving. When you recognize and celebrate your successes and achievements, know what brings you happiness, joy and a sense of fulfilment and can align your activities, practices, work and relationships to your purpose you are far more well equipped to be a grounded, balanced and an empathetic person. Remember though that it is a life-long journey that needs a long-term commitment and ongoing work.

As a life-long practice self-reflection helps you to develop the inner tools to pursue your personal goals and recognize when opportunities arise that fit in with your long-term plans or may lead to growth you had not previously anticipated. It helps you to know yourself, what you have and where you are at, your purpose in life and what things are meaningful to you. Over time, you will have a deeper knowledge of your talents, what you have to offer the world and what gives you meaningful joy. These are the building blocks for sustaining your motivation to do the things you need and want to do.

The past two years have been a time where we really do need to reflect. We continue to live through the tumult of a global pandemic and it has been widely reported that people have increasingly experienced dissatisfaction, depression, anxiety and a sense of hopelessness. It is a moment in history that will be remembered for centuries. During this period, we have experienced and observed rapid and large-scale shifts in how we do things that have been challenging, scary, sad and filled with uncertainty. This era of heightened change, uncertainty and precarity requires us to do reflection for a number of reasons. Firstly, it is important to carve out the physical and mental space to pause, take a breath and think deeply about the situation you are in and what it means to your life in the bigger sense especially during periods of prolonged chaos or uncertainty. Having that time to think gives you the space to be creative in contemplating what your next steps could be to help improve your emotional processing, decision-making, situational observation and communication skills. Secondly, reflection allows you to step out of the immediate intensity of your situation and context and seek to find understanding and meaning in the broader setting. As you become more skilled at the art or reflection, you can apply a critical observational view to the things you are reflecting on. Looking not only at how they have meaning to a particular moment, incident or period but what the long-term implications are and how you can carve out opportunities for personal growth and new ways to survive, find happiness and connection, and pursue the goals you have set for yourself.

Self-reflection is important because it allows you to get to know yourself as you are changing in a transforming world; it can help you to conscientiously remember the positive experiences you’ve had and actions you have taken as well as processing the challenges, difficulties and traumas you are living through; it can be a tool for mindfulness and making sense of your experiences. It is a useful foundation before you do goal-setting as it helps you to recognize what your priorities are and what unresolved issues you may need to give attention to. By practicing self-reflection, we strengthen our capacity for self-awareness – the ability to see and understand ourselves beyond the superficial and instinctive, how we fit into the world (with our friends, family, partners, communities) and what makes our lives feel meaningful.

What does reflection entail

In practice self-reflection can be done in different ways: as an individual, within a group (such as your closest family or circle of friends) or with the help of a coach or therapist. In whatever format you decide on, it requires 5 essential resources: time, mindfulness, observation, openness and objectivity. When one first starts doing self-reflection it can initially seem daunting or intimidating but as with all new skills your capacity will improve with practice. For a practical ‘how to’ framework, let us use the example of an individual starting to work on self-reflection. You will need to set aside times that you can dedicate to thinking about what has happened in your live during the period of time you want to reflect on. The time commitment may be over several sessions. You may set a slot for brainstorming what period you want to reflect on (e.g., the past 24 months), then you may want a different day to work on documenting the most significant things you want to work through (such as work experiences, your health, your academic performance, a certain relationship), you may need a separate time to document your thoughts and feelings on each area of reflection. It will be useful to identify places where you can work peacefully, with no interruptions and what tools you will require to document your observations. Writing down your thoughts, reflections and understandings may work well, or you might prefer drawing or recording audio/visual clips. Documenting your content should be in the form that works best for you and that you can come back to later if you need to. As you create your story you will need to intentionally reflect on and remember the things you note as important to you, the things you think have had the most impact. It is important to recognize the positive and negative impacts. During the documentation process you will probably already start experiencing emotions that relate to those experiences and situations, this process of recording/remembering and feeling are the early stages of self-reflection. Once you have captured all the experiences and memories you want to work with, you can then interrogate what meaning they have had for you, why you felt the way you did, what you want to do with those feelings, lessons and experiences you have learnt for moving forward and what you need to do if you want to make changes over the coming months and year. Document your thoughts, feelings and resolutions as you work through understanding the areas of reflection and identifying what actions you want to take for the future. At this point it is helpful to create a set of goals or preliminary action plan which you can come back to at a later stage and develop further.

There are some exceptional circumstances where self-reflection may lead to negative results. While it is valuable to practice self-reflection at regular intervals, be wary of it becoming an obsessive habit. It is a tool for assessing how you are doing and one means of remaining focused on your priorities and goals. However, if done in excess, it may cause you to become overly critical and judgmental of yourself and hinder your confidence in your own abilities to perform or take decisions. When done in a healthy way, self-reflection can be useful for remaining focused, building happiness and recognizing your own growth and achievements. Another area of concern to be mindful of is if you are dealing with unresolved or ongoing trauma, self-reflection can be a very intensive – even disturbing – exercise. You may need to work with someone who is therapeutically qualified to support you in navigating that trauma and can help with identifying how you can heal, look forward to the future and understand what internal shifts are happening.

In short self-reflection is the repeated act of thinking about your life in an intentional way to examine and make sense of your experiences and future plans. It is an intentional look at your inner-self –thoughts, emotions, ambitions – activities, relationships, endeavors, history and imagined future. It is a process to examine how you are doing. A chance to take the time to think about what you like, what works in your life, what you would like to cultivate to build your resilience, happiness and sense of satisfaction. It is also a time to take an honest account of what you are not satisfied with, what has not been working for you and ask yourself whether there are areas of development that you want to work on so that you are aligning your inner-self, choices and activities with the long-term plans you have for your life. Self-reflection is conscientious, considered and deeply introspective. It is building a relationship with yourself, knowing your own story and putting your life in perspective so that you have the inner tools to pursue a life that you find meaningful.

The world is constantly changing. From the environment to the clothes we wear, and the views we are exposed to. In all these seasons of our lives we are always encouraged to grow, and maturity is often recognised as a sign of wisdom. Very often, however, people do not talk about the gravity of the big decisions we have to make along the way and how these decisions, just like everything else in life, are very susceptible to change.

What is change?

Change is defined as the act of replacing something with another thing, often newer or better. Unfortunately, the anxiety that surrounds change often overshadows the feelings of excitement for the new and better thing. Often, the feelings that are associated with change are fear, panic and anxiety. This is because in most cases change presents a level of uncertainty which our brains view as a threat. Research shows that because our brains dislike uncertainty, they attempt to make sense of what is happening by creating certainty where it does not exist. Unfortunately, the brain uses the worst-case scenario as the crutch, and this leaves us even more worried.

This may result from the loss of control that change comes with uncertainty and the insecurity of having to remove yourself from a familiar and mostly comfortable situation to an unknown territory. 

Why is change important?

Change may be necessary in many situations such as changing school subjects, moving to a different area, changing jobs and even changing what you are studying in university. Despite all the negative feelings that may result from the anxiety of changing your initial decision, change is important for several reasons and is more common than we think.

Change is inevitable

A constant fact about change is that it is inevitable. Nothing stays the same forever, and this is true about our capabilities, interests and hobbies. At 18 years-old you might have been interested in design but at 26 you realise that your capabilities are more suited as a strategist. You might have thought being a doctor is what will fulfil you but then in your second year you realise you actually want to become an architect or a musician. Every season in our lives is different and when we are younger, we often make less informed decisions because we do not have a true understanding of what we are truly interested in and what we are capable of.

Change invites more opportunities and experiences

When we make the decision to change an aspect of our lives, we are inviting different opportunities into our trajectory. It is only when we get comfortable with taking risks that we potentially position ourselves for experiences that will enhance our lives.

Change allows introspection and progress

Change means you have looked hard at your situation and realised that the end-result will not be favourable to you and that in order to attract a better one, you need to make a change. This means you are making progress about your future by thinking about the bigger picture and altering your journey to realising those big picture goals.

Interrogating your reasons for the change

Despite change being a good thing in most cases, it is still a decision that one should not take lightly. It is important to interrogate your reasons for wanting to change something about your life. Do you want to change your path because you have self-introspected and realised your talents and interests would be better suited elsewhere, or are you facing temporary difficulty in your current path and responding to this by giving up?

In some cases, people change their situations not because they have introspected and realised that they would be better suited for a different path, but because of setbacks and failure. Often failure is a crucial part of the journey and should be treated as a learning curve and not as proof that you need to change to a different and easier path.

Lastly, it is important that we always understand the gravity of our decisions and the reasons for wanting to make a change. A practical task might be to write down the pros and cons of your decision and the likely outcomes that it will present.

We all know that too much stress can be bad for you, both physically and mentally. While stress may be inevitable, especially if you’re going through changes, high levels of stress put your entire well-being at risk. Different people find different situations stressful. The key question at hand is how well do you cope with stress and feeling like you’re out of control of your emotions? Contrary to popular belief, you may have more control than you think. It is therefore helpful to be aware of a wide range of tools and techniques for managing stress.

Stress Management

Being able to manage your stress helps you break the hold stress has on your life, so you can be happier, healthier, and more productive. The ultimate goal is a balanced life – balancing school, relationships, relaxation, and fun—and the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges head-on.

However, stress management is not one-size-fits-all. Stress management is a personal experience and solutions will differ for each person. That’s why it’s important to experiment and find out what works best for you. However, it might be quite useful to interrogate your relationship with stress in general.

The following stress management tips can help you do that.

Identify the source of the stress

This might seem like an obvious start but you would be surprised how so many people fail to identify the cause of the stress. They know very well, that they’re feeling some overwhelming pressure but fail to identify the exact root. While it’s easy to identify major stressors such as upcoming exams, changing a course, moving, starting a new career, pinpointing the sources of chronic stress can be more complicated than that. It’s all too easy to overlook how your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors contribute to your everyday stress levels.

Practice the 4A’s of Stress management – Avoid, Alter, Adapt, Accept

Avoid:

• As tough as this is, try and avoid all things that may cause or trigger your stress. For example, procrastination, If you leave assignments and tasks till the last minute, this may be overwhelming and can lead to stress.
• If there’s a particular person who causes you stress, please try and limit the time you spend with them, especially if you’ve confronted them and they’re unwilling to change.

Alter the situation

• If you can’t avoid the situation, then try and alter the matter. This involves the way you communicate and operate in your daily life. This means if something is bothering you, be more assertive and raise your concerns because your feelings are valid.
•  In terms of operating in your daily life, try to find a balance between school and family life, social life and passion projects and daily responsibilities. This is to avoid burnout.

Adapt

• If you can’t change the stressful situation, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.
• Secondly, perspective is important. Looking at something differently helps. Ask yourself how important will it be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.

Accept the things you can’t change

• Some sources of stress are unavoidable. You can’t prevent or change stressors such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are.
• Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier than stressing against a situation you can’t change.
• Sometimes stresses may provide an opportunity for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes.

Instead of isolating, connect with others

There is nothing more calming than spending quality time with another human being who makes you feel safe and understood. I know we live in such a virtual world but nothing can beat human interaction. Face-to-face interaction triggers a cascade of hormones that counteracts the body’s defensive “fight-or-flight” response. Connecting with others is nature’s natural stress reliever (it can also help with depression and anxiety). So, make it a point to connect regularly—and in-person—with family and friends.

As we all know that 2020 has caused a paradigm shift in education, so we’re witnessing a greater normalisation of online schooling and subsequently, online exams. For some of us, who might be forced to take on an online exam for the first time this year, this might cause greater anxiety on top of the pressure of doing well. But don’t worry, online exams are not necessarily harder or easier. They are just different. And we are here to assist you with adapting to the change.

One would think that the anxiety lessens since an online exam can typically be taken from home. However, there can be major pitfalls especially if a student is unprepared and not organized. The key to a successful online test is being organized as much as you can.

Check your computer

a) Nothing can lead to panic more than realizing that your computer does not work properly. Before the test or exam, ensure that you can switch it on and off.

b) Check whether the internet connectivity is stable, if not, move to an alternative location and ensure you move to where the internet is the strongest.

c) It is also advisable to open two browsers – one to take your exam and the other to search for information (if you’re allowed to do so). This is also to avoid mistakenly closing the browser with the online exam.

Find a spot clear of distractions

Clearing your distractions includes switching off the television, radio, social media, and all notifications. Thereafter, gather all tools that you will require for the exam to go smoothly so that you don’t scramble for items that might end up taking lessening your time.  i.e. pens, notebooks, textbooks, etc. See our article on Working and Learning in Isolation for more tips about setting up a conducive environment clear of distractions.

Understand and read the exam guidelines thoroughly

Check the time and date of the exam. How long do you have to complete the exam? Or are you given a window of a certain period time to complete the exam? And even in cases where you can choose what time you take your exam, you usually can’t choose how much time you have to do it. More often than not, online exams are timed, which means you need to carve out an uninterrupted block of time for your exam.

Study

This might seem obvious but some people might underestimate the importance of actually studying since it is an online exam. Even though online exams may be “open book,” you still need to make sure that you are familiar with the material, so you don’t waste time hunting for it. By having a good mastery of the material, you can organize what you think you will need to know in study notes and your mind so it’s more easily accessible when you’re answering exam questions. If you go into it with only your open book to guide you, the lack of preparation will show in your rushed responses. The open book should only be used as a reference otherwise most of the work should be in your brain.

Technical difficulties

If you happen to encounter any technical difficulties, take a screenshot and inform your instructor of your mistake. The worst thing you can do is panic. Your instructor is probably already aware that sometimes technical glitches are avoidable, the key thing here is to be as transparent as possible once this occurs.

Don’t forget to click “Submit”

Most online exams don’t count unless you click the “submit” button at the end. If you have a few minutes left to go over your exam, then I would suggest that you do so. But once you are happy with your responses, please make sure to navigate to the end of the page and press the “submit” button. The point is to make sure your work transmits before hastily moving away from the page.