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“10% of conflict is due to differences of opinion and 90% to the tone of voice” – Anonymous

Ever heard of the expression “it’s not what you say, but how you say it”? As you grow older and become involved in many spaces, interact with people of different levels of authority – how you address and approach people will become key to a successful relationship. Your tone is just one small component of communication; however, it should never be underestimated. Improving your tone can help create a positive environment, strengthen understanding and appreciation and result in better collaboration and teamwork.

We recently unpacked the importance of running for student leadership, a major part of leadership is the tone of your voice. The tone of voice is an integral part of communication and an effective tool in public speaking. When speaking with others, your tone clarifies and conveys meaning. Your tone can not only affect how people perceive you but also their willingness to listen to you – especially in professional settings.

Different tones for different occasions

The tone of voice in communication is defined as ‘the way a person speaks to someone’. It is how you use your voice to get your point across. If you don’t do it right, there is a risk of your point getting lost or misinterpreted.

How you address your friend will probably be very different from how you address a panel of interviewers or the Vice-Chancellor of your university. In other words, you address different audiences with different tones. This is often based on familiarity. The general rule of thumb, the less “familiar” you are with the said individual, the more formal and respectful your tone should be. You can train your tone to be apt for the correct setting. There are different tones and you need to know which tone befits which setting:

• Formal tone
• Informal tone
• Factual tone
• Directive tone
• Assertive tone
• Friendly tone
• Questioning tone
• Conversational tone
• Respectful tone
• Humorous tone

Are you speaking at a wedding or a funeral? An academic lecture or a plenary of plenary of protesting students? To your grandmother or legal officer? Each of these occasions has different norms for speaking, calling for you to operate in different modes – from formal to informal, from light to heavy, humorous to serious, conversational to highly practiced.

How to improve your tone

1. Think before you respond. Some of us are so quick to just respond without ever considering what we are saying and the choice of words we use. Have you ever found yourself saying to someone “I didn’t mean it like that”? If only you took a few minutes to carefully think about your choice of words and how they will be received, you might have the time to change your wording and be less offensive.
2. Listen to yourself. Have you ever recorded a meeting you were speaking in? If not, you should. Take this time to learn how you interact with and speak towards others. You might even find that your own tone surprises you.
3. Reflect. Most of the time, the reasoning behind a negative tone is a part of the bigger picture. If you are going through a tough time or are feeling a bit stressed, your tone can come off negatively without you even realizing it. Before you go into a space where you’ll be interacting with others, take some time to reflect on how you’re feeling. The last thing you want is to blow up on people who probably don’t deserve the negative tone.

We all know that undertaking extracurricular activities such as Leadership is a great way to develop communication skills, teamwork, and time management skills. Therefore, a good balance between academics and your responsibilities could see you develop into a well-rounded successful student.

However, balancing academics and extracurricular activities is often challenging for students. And this is because most choose to focus more on either one of them while neglecting the other. An imbalance causes poor performance in one area but can lead to stress and anxiety in both, because of the realization that you’re failing in the other department.

These are some of the ways to help you balance better:

Choose your Leadership role wisely

When we spoke about pursuing Leadership, we spoke about choosing a responsibility that is flexible for one’s time commitment. The perfect fit is not always the easiest, rather take time to explore the extracurricular activities available to you and what you could gain from each one of them. When choosing, consider the time commitment required, your capacity, and your schedule.

Manage your time

Plan, plan and plan ahead. The best thing you can do for yourself is to create a priority list that will include both academics and extracurricular activities. Thereafter plan what needs to be done and by when it needs to be completed. Most importantly, prioritize rest. Burnout is real and you don’t want to see yourself burning out due to overworking.

Be honest with yourself – review and reflect

It’s okay to have a go at something and realize it’s not working and therefore try and find a solution. For instance, if you find that you were too ambitious and unrealistic regarding the amount of time you have, give honest feedback regarding your academics and extracurricular activities. Go back to your plan and don’t be afraid to say no when you can’t handle an extra activity no matter how much you want to.

Ask for help

Contrary to popular belief, asking for help is not an admission of weakness. In fact, it takes much maturity to admit to yourself, that you’ve tried doing it alone and you need fellow students, friends, and family to help you. Asking for help could be asking your friends to take notes for you, and get into study group sessions.

Another thing that most people overlook is having an accountability partner. Accountability partners are important because they can help you keep in check whether you’re keeping up with your tasks.

Have the right attitude

Most importantly, it is essential to believe that you can manage your time and be optimistic. Push yourself rather than giving up most activities without exploring. Procrastination and pessimism are the biggest hurdles to becoming effective at time management.

Prioritize your health

I know that in between lectures and attending meetings, it can be easier to eat on the go and grab the unhealthiest meals. But it’s important to remember to eat well, exercise regularly, and be sure to get a good night’s sleep.

Varsity is a short period of your life to learn and grow – both in and out of the lecture hall. For most students, studies are their top learning priority – rightfully so. However, another worthy learning priority is student leadership or running for student governance.

Fortunately for you, university and college offer myriad opportunities to make your voices heard, represent marginalized groups or lead concerted efforts to better your varsity experience.  Taking on a leadership role can be plain and simple, and be one of the best ways to challenge yourself and learn valuable skills that can be utilized both during and after your varsity years.

What is Leadership experience?

It is a general term used that refers to your exposure to leading people in various settings. In this context, leadership experience comes from serving at one’s college or university. These kinds of roles provide the student with firsthand valuable professional experience. For some of you, this might be an extension of your high school leadership experience. Maybe you were a prefect, class monitor, student rep, head girl, or head boy. As a result, it is encouraged that you extend that experience to a higher level.

Who runs for student Leadership?

1. The myth that we need to demystify is that the student office is reserved for those who have political credentials or for those with ambitions to pursue a career in politics. The student office is for anyone. For instance, it’s okay to be an engineering student who wants to run for student council.
2. Any student with a passion for serving. All you need to be is a registered student with a will and passion for making a difference to those around you.

Fortunately, there’s no shortage of leadership opportunities at varsity. Whether considered “big” or “small”. Here are a few examples:

1. House Comm
2. Dining Hall Monitor
3. Society/Club Leader
4. Orientation Leader
5. Tutor
6. TA (Tutor Assistance)
7. Faculty Student Council
8. SRC (Student Representative Council)

Where to begin the journey of student leadership?

• Begin to do your research on student leadership experiences in the first year already.
• Assess the available platforms and organizations that might be suitable for your needs and capacity. i.e. house comm vs faculty-student council vs SRC (Student Representative Council). The bigger the platform and number of students you represent, the bigger the responsibility. This means you have to assess and ask yourself questions about whether you have the time and capacity to take on these responsibilities based on your schedule.
• If you’re interested in student leadership but not wide-campus student governance, perhaps smaller-scale opportunities like being a tutor or society leader might work best for you.

Benefits of student leadership

• It increases your exposure to university affiliates in your field of study
• In addition to the above, you have access to professionals affiliated with the university and university leadership. This access places student leaders in high-profile positions with exposure to even more networking and career-building opportunities. (Remember when we discussed networking, that your network circle will constitute a portion of your university affiliates/ alumni).
• At a minimum, leadership roles provide students with valuable opportunities to hone skills that then facilitate their transition into the workplace.
• It is important to note that leadership skills might not be a requirement from an employer but they might be an appealing attribute, especially once you add it to your cv.
• You learn to work with a team, mediate conflicts and build community.
• Build Confidence – standing up for yourself, speaking in front of large crowds, and demanding solutions and change.

Challenges of Leadership Experience: Balancing Student office with academics.

• One of the main challenges of the leadership experience is time management. It takes planning and discipline to manage schoolwork and a (typically unpaid) role as a student leader. 
• Another solution is to choose a leadership role that affords more flexibility in one’s time commitment. 
• A good support system will be extremely crucial especially when you’re campaigning for votes (depending on whether you chose the student governance route). The reality of the situation is that you might have to miss classes, even tests because of campaigning for students. Eating late dinners and being generally exhausted. You will need friends and fellow students who can take notes for you, and assist in helping you catch up with missed content.
• Lastly but certainly not least – backlash from fellow students. This might happen quite often. Remember that those you’re representing will be frustrated and you might be the easiest and quickest form of contact, therefore making it easier to put their frustrations on you. Don’t take it personally. After all, Rome wasn’t built in one day.